Across the Universe

Thus far people may think that I'm one of those reviewers that loves everything. I've posted three write-ups for movies I liked. True enough, but this will not be one of them.

When I first caught wind of this phenomenon called Across the Universe, I was pretty excited at the prospect of a musical using only songs by the Beatles that was also a visual interpretation of their existence in their musical, social and politically tumultuous era of American History. Even the trailers made it look like the makings of a modern classic.

Now it all sounds good in theory, and I'm sure had someone else been at the helm, a salvageable film would've been possible, however, I don't know what kind of bad drugs Julie Taymor (Titus) was doing while consuming mass amounts of High School Musical Disney Channel drivel to come up with this incoherently predictable mess. And I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a huge fan of the musical (Sweeney Todd was great and admittedly Moulin Rouge was amazing) but I know how they're supposed to work. The songs being sung should have some significance to what is going on in the scene. That being said, the song choices and placement were horrendous. Someone needs to explain to Miss Taymor the definition of the term "subtlety." When the artistic license of these classic tunes wasn't wrenched so unforgivingly out of proportion that the meaning is lost in a sea of confusing and homoerotic imagery (army recruitment dance numbers) it was crammed so blatantly down our throats that it seemed these scenes were thrown together by a 3rd grade remedial music class (think of singing the song "Blackbird" as a blackbird flies by, with no real association with what's going on in the scene.)

Then there were the one dimensional characters. Each persons motivation was so one sided and boring that by the end of the movie, I really didn't care what they'd accomplished so long as I got out of the theater with my brain safely in my skull and not dripping out my ears and on to the floor. Jude (yes, they named all the characters after significant Beatles nomenclature) comes to the Americas in search of his "war hero" dad. He falls in love with (you guessed it) Lucy who's brother happens to be Jude's new stateside buddy Max (Maxwell's Silver Hammer, for those keeping track.) The boys get the hairbrained idea to move to the "big city" and go nuts. They line up a dumpy apartment from Sadie (should I really even bother anymore?) who happens to be the resident Janis Joplin ripoff and soon they're all rooming together along with fellow Jimi Hendrix ripoff, JoJo and lesbian former cheerleader Prudence. Sound lame? It is.

What ensues is to be expected. No surprises, except that the talent of the Beatles is wasted on a story this pointless. For a more pleasant experience, drop some acid and pop in "Magical Mystery Tour" and call it a night.